Your Prayers Have Been Answered – It’s The Grilled Cheesus Machine

Your Prayers Have Been Answered - It's The Grilled Cheesus Machine

Created by Brooklyn-based couple Rob Corso and Meg Sheehan as a Kickstarter project The Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press will easily burn an image of Jesus on your lunch and perhaps offer salvation.  Check one out over at their site.  What Would Grilled Cheesus Do?

Your Prayers Have Been Answered - It's The Grilled Cheesus Machine

Scrambled Eggs In Toasted Bread Cases

Scrambled Eggs In Toasted Bread Cases

Breakfast served all day.  The most exciting words you’ll ever see printed on a menu.  Our house is the philosophical equivalent.  When isn’t it a good time to have breakfast?  I can’t think of one.  A dish like this makes you wonder why you ever go out to eat.

I suppose you have to like scrambled eggs.  I was in the camp of hating scrambled eggs for years.  Let’s tally that in a column of “things people and restaurants have screwed up so badly they’ve ruined it for me.”  Thankfully I’ve put my own little world right.  Scrambled eggs made with love and attention, not cooked to within an inch of existence, and given a few minutes of thought are ohmygodthatsunbelievable!!!  Dry scrambled eggs are best used to prop a door open.  I know that’s personal taste, but really, who wants dry eggs? Continue reading

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins – Best Snacktime Ever!

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

I have a supreme weakness for this little treat.  I try to convert as many people as possible.  I’ve been called white trash for making this.  If that’s the case I’m donning a stained wife beater and parking a few broken cars on the front lawn.  Call me Cletus.  This stuff is killer.

It’s also almost effortless.  In about five minutes or so you can have a snack that’ll knock your socks off.  It’s hot, it’s Parmesan, it’s bread, and it’s butter.  What more needs to be said?

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

I generally make four halves, or two English Muffins.  Often I’ll think I’m not that hungry and just need a quick snack – so one muffin should be just fine.  I’ve never done that and not had to go back and make another serving.  So two English Muffins it is – always.

Split two English Muffins and pop them into the toaster.  I have a vertical toaster, rather than a toaster oven.  The first step you can toast them however you like.  Make it a light toasting.  You want the texture to be firm and toasty but they’re going back in after the next step, so don’t overdo it.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

Once lightly toasted remove the four pieces and spread some butter on each.  They don’t need to be dripping in it, but if you’re going for it you might as well not skimp.  I have a big block of Reggiano Parmesan in my fridge at all times.  If there’s isn’t any in there…..well let’s just say I’ve gone out at three in the morning to go grab a block.  Parmesan addiction isn’t pretty, folks.  Grate a healthy dose of Parmesan onto each of the four pieces.  I’m sure you could get away with using the pre-grated, crumbly, powdery stuff they sell in glass jars at the store.  I won’t touch but I’m a Parmesan Prima Donna.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

Once thusly coated in a layer of cheese they need to go back into the toaster.  If you’ve a toaster oven – no problem.  If you have a vertical slice toaster like mine you’ve got two options for yourself.  You can heat your oven up to 350 or 375 degrees F.  You can also just flip your toaster onto its side.  That way the cheese will stay on top and you can make these in a hurry.  Not all toasters and accomplish this feat and other get nervous just looking at it.  Do what makes you comfortable.  If you’re going to try it – there are a few things you might want to be aware of.

Some toasters shut off if they’re tipped over.  Great safety feature – bad for this purpose.  Other toasters have metal gates that come down on the toasted item to keep it in place.  These will mush the cheese and cause you a smoking sticky problems.  Don’t try it.  If you’re going ahead with this – please take these necessary precautions and pay attention to these important points.  Go forth with careful consideration.

  • CLEAN OUT YOUR TOASTER – Turn it upside down and make sure there’s not crumbs or big chunks of bread lurking.
  • DO A TEST RUN WITH BREAD – Check for any hot spots or weird toasting that might cause a problem.
  • DO NOT LEAVE YOUR TOASTER UNATTENDED WHILE YOU’RE MAKING THIS - Ever.  At all.
  • WHEN YOUR TOAST IS DONE – YOUR TOASTER MAY FLING THEM ACROSS THE ROOM - Your toaster is designed to pop the toast up.  When it’s on the side it very well may fly across the kitchen.  Far.  Be careful.  Hot butter and cheese is like napalm.  My toaster is old and the spring is bad so it just clicks and releases gently.
Or just use the ovenI do sometimes and it works just fine.
Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

In another minute or two (more if you’re using the oven) you’ll be greeted with the most delightfully toasted buttery Parmesan bomb you’ve ever tasted.  I have to limit myself to a single serving each week, I would otherwise eat this and nothing else for the rest of my existence.  Scurvy be damned.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

For a nice snack for yourself (if you need to share I suggest a spade shovel and a shallow grave to eliminate that problem) you’ll need the following:

  • 2 English Muffins – Split Into Four Halves
  • Butter for spreading – Maybe a Tablespoon Or So
  • Freshly Grated Parmesan – Enough to Cover Each Muffin Generously
  • Love.  Much Love.

Fin.

Flip Your Toaster On Its Side For A Lazy Grilled Cheese Sandwich

I love a good grilled cheese sandwich.  Who doesn’t?  Not so interested in getting your pots and pans dirty and firing up the stove?  Try flipping your toaster on its side  and making an improvised grilled cheese.  While it’s not going to be the same as a great grilled cheese cooked the right way; in Paula Deen approved levels of butter.

Not all toasters and accomplish this feat and other get nervous just looking at it.  Do what makes you comfortable.  If you’re going to try it – there are a few things you might want to be aware of.

Some toasters shut off if they’re tipped over.  Great safety feature – bad for this purpose.  Other toasters have metal gates that come down on the toasted item to keep it in place.  These will mush the cheese and cause you a smoking sticky problems.  Don’t try it.  If you’re going ahead with this – please take these necessary precautions and pay attention to these important points.  Go forth with careful consideration.

  • CLEAN OUT YOUR TOASTER - Turn it upside down and make sure there’s not crumbs or big chunks of bread lurking.
  • DO A TEST RUN WITH BREAD - Check for any hot spots or weird toasting that might cause a problem.
  • DO NOT LEAVE YOUR TOASTER UNATTENDED WHILE YOU’RE MAKING THIS - Ever.  At all.
  • WHEN YOUR TOAST IS DONE – YOUR TOASTER MAY FLING THEM ACROSS THE ROOM - Your toaster is designed to pop the toast up.  When it’s on the side it very well may fly across the kitchen.  Far.  Be careful.  Hot butter and cheese is like napalm.  My toaster is old and the spring is bad so it just clicks and releases gently.

The picture will convey better than I’ll ever be able to put into words exactly what you’re doing.  As an added note: if your toaster has the little “cages” inside which grip the toast as it’s lowered, you’ll need to wrap the sandwich in parchment paper or similar to keep from getting a melted gooey mess.

“Stuffed” French Toast

"Stuffed" French ToastOkay, okay.  I’ve been lazy the past few days.  No denying that.  I’ve been visiting with some family, working like a madman, and being lazy when I wasn’t doing either.  More than a full-time job, all that.

I got home from work and then the store and decided that I’d make some lunch/dinner/afternoon meal kind of thing.  Both of us were hungry.  The very minute I sat down our killer internet provider struck again.  We’d another outage.  My other half went into “Moby Dick” mode with our internet provider, resolutely staying on the phone and being steadfast with the customer service people until he got some money back on the bill (this isn’t the only time we’ve lost service – and we both do work from home) – so BOO on you Broadstripe. Continue reading

Truffled Egg Toast

Truffled Egg Toast

I’m a sucker for cheese, eggs, and bread.  I’m a sucker for just about any food.  More so those three though.  I’m also a sucker for breakfast food anytime of the day.  Perhaps I am just a sucker.  Doing Mr. T proud, then.

This is one of those dishes that’s so simple it defies logic that it should be so tasty. There’s no lengthy preparation.  No long cook time.  It’s simple and it’s better than most things you’ll put in your mouth this week, I can almost guarantee that.  It’s so good I started writing about it before I’ve finished eating.  I want to share.

I’ve had this once before in a little tiny place in New York one Saturday for brunch.  I’ve never forgotten it.  It’s one of those places that has the Italian sort-of-a-meal-sort-of-a-snack thing down more solidly than anywhere else I’ve been.  It’s a nice place to linger for a while over some food that’s thoughtful and well made.  It’s called ‘ino.  On the menu this is simply called truffled egg toast.  It’s pretty much what it sounds like, which is tasty. Continue reading