Buttered Parmesan English Muffins – Best Snacktime Ever!

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

I have a supreme weakness for this little treat.  I try to convert as many people as possible.  I’ve been called white trash for making this.  If that’s the case I’m donning a stained wife beater and parking a few broken cars on the front lawn.  Call me Cletus.  This stuff is killer.

It’s also almost effortless.  In about five minutes or so you can have a snack that’ll knock your socks off.  It’s hot, it’s Parmesan, it’s bread, and it’s butter.  What more needs to be said?

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

I generally make four halves, or two English Muffins.  Often I’ll think I’m not that hungry and just need a quick snack – so one muffin should be just fine.  I’ve never done that and not had to go back and make another serving.  So two English Muffins it is – always.

Split two English Muffins and pop them into the toaster.  I have a vertical toaster, rather than a toaster oven.  The first step you can toast them however you like.  Make it a light toasting.  You want the texture to be firm and toasty but they’re going back in after the next step, so don’t overdo it.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

Once lightly toasted remove the four pieces and spread some butter on each.  They don’t need to be dripping in it, but if you’re going for it you might as well not skimp.  I have a big block of Reggiano Parmesan in my fridge at all times.  If there’s isn’t any in there…..well let’s just say I’ve gone out at three in the morning to go grab a block.  Parmesan addiction isn’t pretty, folks.  Grate a healthy dose of Parmesan onto each of the four pieces.  I’m sure you could get away with using the pre-grated, crumbly, powdery stuff they sell in glass jars at the store.  I won’t touch but I’m a Parmesan Prima Donna.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

Once thusly coated in a layer of cheese they need to go back into the toaster.  If you’ve a toaster oven – no problem.  If you have a vertical slice toaster like mine you’ve got two options for yourself.  You can heat your oven up to 350 or 375 degrees F.  You can also just flip your toaster onto its side.  That way the cheese will stay on top and you can make these in a hurry.  Not all toasters and accomplish this feat and other get nervous just looking at it.  Do what makes you comfortable.  If you’re going to try it – there are a few things you might want to be aware of.

Some toasters shut off if they’re tipped over.  Great safety feature – bad for this purpose.  Other toasters have metal gates that come down on the toasted item to keep it in place.  These will mush the cheese and cause you a smoking sticky problems.  Don’t try it.  If you’re going ahead with this – please take these necessary precautions and pay attention to these important points.  Go forth with careful consideration.

  • CLEAN OUT YOUR TOASTER – Turn it upside down and make sure there’s not crumbs or big chunks of bread lurking.
  • DO A TEST RUN WITH BREAD – Check for any hot spots or weird toasting that might cause a problem.
  • DO NOT LEAVE YOUR TOASTER UNATTENDED WHILE YOU’RE MAKING THIS - Ever.  At all.
  • WHEN YOUR TOAST IS DONE – YOUR TOASTER MAY FLING THEM ACROSS THE ROOM - Your toaster is designed to pop the toast up.  When it’s on the side it very well may fly across the kitchen.  Far.  Be careful.  Hot butter and cheese is like napalm.  My toaster is old and the spring is bad so it just clicks and releases gently.
Or just use the ovenI do sometimes and it works just fine.
Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

In another minute or two (more if you’re using the oven) you’ll be greeted with the most delightfully toasted buttery Parmesan bomb you’ve ever tasted.  I have to limit myself to a single serving each week, I would otherwise eat this and nothing else for the rest of my existence.  Scurvy be damned.

Buttered Parmesan English Muffins - Best Snacktime Ever!

For a nice snack for yourself (if you need to share I suggest a spade shovel and a shallow grave to eliminate that problem) you’ll need the following:

  • 2 English Muffins – Split Into Four Halves
  • Butter for spreading – Maybe a Tablespoon Or So
  • Freshly Grated Parmesan – Enough to Cover Each Muffin Generously
  • Love.  Much Love.

Fin.

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“What’s that Bob?  You and the missus just adopted a three-legged rescue dog?  That’s great.  Did I mention I made that cracker you’re eating with that delightful cheese?”  Who’s the better person now? Continue reading

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