Man Assaults Starbucks Barista Over A Lack Of Cream

It’s been a tough couple of days for Starbucks.  First a coke addled lady went on a bit of rampage trying to get her caffeine fix, now news comes in from Canada that a Starbucks customer threw a bit of nutty when his local ‘Bux ran out of cream.  Perhaps he’d had enough coffee anyway.

Abbotsford, British Columbia police are searching for a man who assaulted a Starbucks barista after she told him they’d run out of cream.  Sounds reasonable.

Constable Ian MacDonald told The Abbotsford Times that a Caucasian man in his 40s ordered a coffee and began screaming upon being told the coffee shop was out of cream. The man then threw water in the barista’s face and stormed out of the store.

MacDonald told The Times that the barista involved was frightened and shaken by the incident.  No doubt.  Given the severity of the suspect’s reaction to a simple inconvenience, the police are acting quickly and have tracked the suspect’s license plate to a Vancouver Island address.

“If a cup of coffee sets him off to this degree, can you image what would happen if something of real consequence occurs?” MacDonald asked.  ”He got in a truck and probably got onto the highway. What if someone changes lanes in front of him or something?”

Woman Repeatedly Rams Two Cars On A Coke Fueled Quest For Starbucks

Woman Repeatedly Rams Two Cars On A Coke Fueled Quest For Starbucks

Honey-Mother-F&$%#-Cocaine!

Keep Austin weird.  That’s the slogan.  Demetria Williams was actively doing her part when police arrested her for ramming two vehicles several times on her way to a Starbucks.

Ms. Williams, 32, of Austin, is charged with two counts 
of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, driving while intoxicated, evading arrest and theft.  That’s a lot of felonies for a cuppa joe.

According to the arrest warrant, one of the victims told police that Williams had rammed her Malibu into his car several times and pointed her middle finger at him.  He then followed her to a Starbucks coffee shop in the Georgetown neighborhood.

The other victim told police that over the course of a mile, Williams hit her Lexus five times.  She reported that Williams said: “You don’t want to mess with her. She would fuck us up. She was on a cocaine run, and we got in her way.”

A police officer who responded to the Starbucks saw Williams yelling and cursing at an employee.  Williams told the officer that she had no money and had been drinking quite a bit.  She told the police officer that her name was “honey mother-fucking cocaine.”

After searching her vehicle the officer found an empty beer can and four bottles of wine.  Williams was remanded to the Williamson County Jail on Tuesday on $43,500 bail, according to public records.