Steering clear of fast food has always been sound practice for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Now it seems as though it’s also sound practice for keeping your gentlemanly bits intact.  Oh dear.

A recently filed complaint in El Paso, Texas County Court contends that the victim – Kenneth Dejoie – was “utilizing the urinal in the men’s restroom when it caused a jet of steam to shoot forth from the urinal and burn his genitals.”  Huh?  How does that even happen?  I’m sure you ladies might not understand, but urinals don’t do that.  Ever.  Were it that one might expect something like that, we’d have straightened that issue out long ago.  Solutions to poverty, hunger, and war we can’t figure out; not having steam shoot from a urinal?  I thought we had covered.

Clearly alarmed, he approached employees about the horribly malfunctioning bathroom fixture.  They responded ”we have that bathroom problem again,” and explained “this happens when the sink in the kitchen is running.”  Huh?

A copy of the inevitable lawsuit is posted online; the man and his wife are seeking damages for negligence, premises liability and loss of consortium.  A spokesperson for the company issued a statement reassuring customers that we are committed to providing quality food in a safe and healthy environment.  Since this matter is in litigation they declined further comment on the matter.